When I was younger, my family use to go to church every Sunday. I developed this idea that the things I learned were for Sunday’s only. I should act good on Sundays and Monday through Friday, I could do what I wanted.
I also had the idea that since God was so good, He would never let us go to Hell. I figured that God had a scale and that he would weigh it all out. On one side, he would put all my good deeds and on the other, he would put the few wrong things I had done. Since I was basically a good person and had done more good than bad, it was easy to see that I was Heaven bound. After all, I had never sinned. Sins were big things like murder and stealing.
I WAS WRONG !!!
It took me a long time and a few sleepless nights to realize I was wrong. I was never really sure what would happen to me and even though I had the Bible…I was afraid to read it. That all changed when someone told me that God is perfect and can not tolerate sin. They referred to the verse Psalms 66:18 where it says that if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me. I was shocked because I had always learned that God hears all things.
Well, I was right partially. God hears everything but because we are sinners, that is all…He just hears it. I thought of all the things that I had prayed for and the fact that He did not want anything to do with me because I was a sinner. I came to a realization that when I sin, it hurts God. At that point, I saw God as another person. I envisioned Him as my dad or one of my grandfathers and I saw myself doing things to hurt him and it broke my heart. I would never hurt my dad or grandfathers and it became hard to believe that I willfully did things to hurt God.
After that vision, I began to pray.
I told God that I was sorry for all the sins that I had committed whether I was aware of them or not. I told Him that I wanted to be His and I wanted Him to cleanse my heart and thoughts of all wickedness. I told Him that I wanted Him to use me and I did not care how. I asked Him to save me from Hell and that I wanted to live in Heaven. I told Him to use me as He wanted to, even if it meant that He rolls me into a ball and slams me against a wall and I splatter to my death. I also asked Him to use me without my knowledge because if I know it, I would ruin the preciousness and purity of His purpose with me.
I received confirmation from Jesus, that I had been accepted into His kingdom for eternity. Eternity meaning duration without end. I can not explain the confirmation except that it was more than just a feeling, it was more than physical knowledge, but it was from God.
It was a spiritual awakening. Everything was different; the sun rose different; the grass was different; even breathing seemed different. I began experiencing things from a spiritual perspective.
To this very day, I do not rely on myself to do anything in order to keep my eternal salvation. I rely solely on my acceptance and understanding of the knowledge of the fact that Jesus willingly died for my salvation. It was His sacrifice that paid the eternal penalty that I created by sinning against an eternal God. My trust is not in my imperfect self, but in the perfect one who took my place in the penalty box.
Now I am saved, from that first day forward, I am saved.